Under Review

The British Columbians

Made For Darker Things (Rural Records)

Review By Sam Risser

This album is bad. I can’t even pretend to be nice about it. The name of the band, for starters, is grounds alone to chuck this into the garbage. There was a biography written by the band’s publicist, which, if anything, is damning of the music they play. Their music is frequently described as being laden with grooviness, but I could never see myself dancing or having a good time listening to the British Columbians.

One publication described the vocals as “badass.” This is not true, as vocalist Girard Knox actually sounds bored. There is nothing cool or fun or dangerous or “rocking” about any of it. It’s exactly what it is—a bunch of guys dressed like actors in beer advertisements singing about how good the weekend is going to be (I did my research like a good boy and subjected myself to live video footage for no less than five minutes). Their style of music is similar to bands like Big Sugar, Blind Melon and Maroon 5 (I am actually trying to make comparisons to popular music here). Somebody from the Georgia Straight compared them to Led Zeppelin at their most primal, which makes sense, but even I know Zeppelin is better than this. CBC loves ‘em, they’ve played with Our Lady Peace, and have recently sold one of their songs to be used for Brita Water Filter advertisements.

I was actually listening to this stuff for most of the time I wrote this; I’m not some kind of lazy flake who doesn’t listen to the music. I’m just here to inform you, the reader, of my thoughts: this is fucking crap.